I Know Exactly How You Feel

Watching The Bachelorette is my summer tv guilty pleasure. It's generally fun and simple and you don't have to get too attached to anyone because you know it's all based in a fake reality and not meant to last. But tonight was real and heartbreaking.

The Bachelorette was dumped by her first-choice suitor. But this dump wasn't like any of the other ones we've seen on this show; this one felt like it was real. I know because I have been in the exact same situation and everything, from the words said to the body language, was something I experienced. The only difference is that I was married when it happened.

Mine also wasn't being recorded for national television audiences to watch and judge. Mine happened quietly, in a little apartment in West Valley, before the social media explosion of facebook and twitter and hashtags and microblogs. Since we had eloped, there wasn't a big wedding and therefore less people knew about the marriage. Close family, friends and co-workers knew about the marriage and subsequent divorce, but there are large amounts of people I've met since then who don't know anything about that time of my life.

Truth is I was ashamed to tell people about it. Afraid that people would be silently judging me for making such a poor decision. Surely I must've known beforehand that it wasn't right, these people would be thinking. Not only did I not want anyone's judgement, but I didn't want their pity either. 

So while Des is hurting now and feeling inconsolable, it is a million times better going through it now than after you've gone through the wedding and marriage.