Find Me On Facebook

Saturday night I attended a dinner and dance event for singles in the Kansas City area. Despite feeling way too old to be there, I danced the night away with friends from my ward. The DJ for the night was set on playing slow songs, much to my annoyance. Slow songs in general don't bother me, but when it is a dance where you have not come with a date, the absolute last thing I want is for some stranger to put his hands on me when I'm all sweaty from dancing to the fast songs.

But I did it anyway when I was asked. This boy was very nice if not far too young for me. As we were "dancing" he said something to the effect of "You can find me on Facebook." I knew I wasn't going to do this for many reasons, but thought that that is a sad way to get to know someone.

Let me share a story from last summer. I was at a tri-ward FHE where the boys were all from a ward different from my own (and the boys in my ward were with girls from a different ward). I spent the evening chatting and flirting with a boy. When it came to the end of the night and we were parting ways, he asked for my last name so he could "stalk me on Facebook".  Yeah, nothing ever happened.

He should have just asked for my number. I mean if he was really interested. Facebook has lots of great things about it--I love staying connected with all my family all over the place, I love staying connected with friends I've moved away from.  And I myself have used it to stalk people I like, then get disappointed when their profile is private or, worse, they aren't even on  Facebook. But, I really do not want to be "friends " with a crush on Facebook, or have have someone use it in place of calling me. I want someone to get to know me by actually talking to me, not by looking at all my pictures and seeing things I like and conversations I have with friends. And I don't want to learn all about someone that way either, and I certainly don't want to be wondering about other girls I see them with in photos!

I went through my Facebook friends the other day to see if I could get rid of anyone.  The majority of my friends are family members. The rest were people I actually care about staying in contact with. For me, it's not a place for casual aquantances or a place where I send potential dating opportunities. It's for people who already know me. And they know that I'm better in person than the snippets on my Wall.