Thursday, December 17, 2015

Star Wars Memory Lane: The Phantom Menace

Settle in folks, because I had a lot to say about Episode I: The Phantom Menace. I was concerned after Jedi that I had nothing else to look forward to, not knowing that two years later there would be a new trilogy to obsess about.

May 19, 1999
Today was a great day!! Actually, it all started yesterday. As you know, Star Wars was released today, and Lindsay's mom gave her permission to go to the midnight showing earlier today (we were sophomores at the time; Lindsay had a car because she was cool). So Tuesday morning, before early morning, we drove by the theater to check out the line, which was already around the corner of the building. Lindsay had to go to at least her first three hours (Lindsay had an attendance problem in high school). We checked out after third and went to sit in line for the biggest movie of the decade (perhaps hyperbole....). We had tons of fun. We got our tickets after waiting for five hours. But I had to go to work at five, so I couldn't wait in line all night to get into the movie (I worked at Wendy's). Lindsay couldn't get back down until seven, so we had a friend save our spots. I got off work early because Justin said he would close for me, just so I could go to Star Wars. Waiting in line was the funnest part. It was a great experience. We were all wired from Mountain Dew. The lines started moving and everybody cheered. I was so excited to get in.
       The movie wasn't what I expected. I was kinda disappointed. George Lucas wrote it, but the dialogue was completely different from the original Trilogy. And they over-used the special effects. Everything was computer-animated except the people. Things didn't look real like they did in the Trilogy, because they actually used real things. I t was hard to stay awake because I was so tired, and because now I was comfortable in a seat instead of standing (I was teased about this by my family forever)
     It was bunches of fun!! One BIG Party!! I got 3 1/2 hrs. of sleep!

Over ten years later, my feelings about the film have not really changed. The film just wasn't fun at all. Trade federations and blockades and midichlorians and that pod race that went on fifteen minutes longer than it should have. Atrocious acting. Jar Jar Binks.

And the CGI! George didn't even bother to build sets taller than his actors, because everything was just green screen. Everything was flat and uninteresting, every cityscape and space battle stuffed with too much extra ships or people or buildings or everything. We went from models and real actors to a handful of real actors and everything else created with computers.

The only redeeming quality is the Duel of the Fates at the end with Darth Maul, a character that was super hyped prior to release but then didn't do anything, and Qui-gon and Obi-wan. This movie should have been thirty minutes, and then transitioned into the legit Attack of the Clones. I'll talk about that when I blog about that film.

Previously: Return of the Jedi
Next: Attack of the Clones

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