The School Debate

When I entered grad school last year my brother told me that guys were not interested in girls with Masters. Since then we've had many discussions about this topic. He claims that guys, especially guys in Utah, are intimidated by a girl with too much education, and that said girls will languish in single-dom. I steadfastly refused to believe this, claiming that I wouldn't want a guy who was intimidated by my education anyway. And he'd counter saying that I wouldn't find it in Utah.

My friend Summer and I discussed this same topic the other day. She concurred with my brother, saying that level of education is way more important to girls than it is to guys. She argued that it interfered with their natural desire/need to be the provider, and having a girl that could possibly make more than them was emasculating. Once again I tried to object, stating that plenty of guys want girls who are educated and that a Masters degree shouldn't dissuade them from asking me out.

There's a guy I know that has never asked about my school or what I'm doing. He asks about everything else, and when I mention that I'm busy with classes or doing homework, there are never any follow up questions. Yesterday this started to bother me, mainly because I did not want to be proven wrong, especially by my brother.

So I opened up a discussion on Facebook, and there were some great points made, many of them coming from dudes themselves! A lot of them said it depended on the guy, and that a guy would be insecure in himself to not appreciate a girl's educational achievements. One very interesting point made by my friend Jodee (a dude)made this great statement: Intelligence matters, not just the level of education completed. There are more than a few very dull minded people in the world with high level degrees. And my friend Greg made a good point that he doesn't care about a girl's education, but how she treats people, what she knows about events in the world, does she respect Veterans and others who risk their lives. Ya know, her character.

In no way do I think that getting a Masters degree means I am more intelligent than people around me who haven't. I may be more knowledgeable on the subject of planning, but certainly not in other areas. I struggle putting together coherent thoughts and sentences, and I have a hard time synthesizing large amounts of information. For me, getting a Masters degree was more a necessity; I was changing career paths and my Bachelors wouldn't get me anywhere. I could, on the slimmest of chances, get a job in a planning related field, but to move up at all and be considered a real planner I would need a Masters anyway. At that time (and still now) I had no prospect of getting married and knew I would need to support myself.

I currently do not have the option to have kids and be a stay-at-home mom. Even if I were married, I might still not have the option. Because other girls aren't getting their Masters (or already have them) does not mean they are not intelligent. Education and learning is life-long, and does not need to be in a classroom. It comes from reading and discussing, living and discovering, trying and overcoming. I think guys in general are attracted to that.

But on the point of guys being "intimidated" by a girl with a Masters degree, I still believe that any guy I would want to even consider marrying would have to think it was pretty cool. Are some guys intimidated by it, most definitely. Do I think the reason I am not married is because I'm pursuing a Masters, most definitely not. We just haven't found each other yet.