Off Facebook

Back in January I said I was going to Facebook less and blog more. I'm not sure the blogging more has actually happened (I seem to rarely blog about anything other than movies I've seen), but I am Facebooking less. Like a lot less - I deactivated my account in March.

Honestly, I didn't think I would be off this long.

And honestly, I don't really miss it all that much. Sure I miss the invites to events, the cute photos of friends' and family's babies/pets. I miss feeling connected to a large group of people.

But I don't miss the time it took up in my life. I don't miss the angst and frustration and anger I got from it. I don't miss the war of words.

I still have Instagram, so I still see pictures. Just a much smaller crowd and less angry commenting. I check out Twitter to get my fix for in-the-moment commentary on pop culture.

I listen to the news in the morning and the evening. Then I turn it off and live life instead of constantly reading opinion pieces, rebuttal pieces, and everyone's thoughts on current issues. Don't get me wrong, a part of me really likes those discussions and, generally, the part I played in bringing issues I care about to people who might not hear a differing opinion. But for sanity and well-being, it wasn't worth it.

I will try blog about more than just movies!

A Note About the Blog

I started my blog in 2008 while I was living in NYC. This was well before smartphones made Facebook ubiquitous and put a camera in everyone's pocket. My parents and many of my family members and friends weren't on Facebook anyway. So the blog was a great way to let them know what I was doing in New York. I always had my point-and-shoot camera with me, and I'd take photos and compose blog posts in my head while I rode the subway.

The first time I got political on the blog was 2008 and the election. I posted about voting in the historic election while living in NYC, and tried to capture my thoughts on the day after America elected Obama. However, my truly first political post came about a week later. I had discovered that some of my friends had to defend their vote that year to their families, so I wanted to note how I was glad that wasn't a problem for me. In that same post, I chose to comment on the highly contentious Prop 8 issue.

I didn't really get political again until 2012, another election year.

A lot has happened in four years. I am a different person. America feels like a different place. This blog will start having a few more political posts (not that anyone is really reading it anymore anyway). It just feels like such an important time right now. I don't really think my thoughts are going to change anyone's opinion, but I feel like it will be good for me personally to put those thoughts down.

A friend on Facebook today was complaining that it had become a place for political posts. She wondered why people couldn't just post photos of their kids or animals or whatever. I agree that Facebook has become political, and it does create a lot of division. But Facebook isn't going anywhere, and nowhere is it said that Facebook has to be used for purely nice, friendly, non-confrontational posts. It is a social network, and people can post whatever they want; if you're tired of it, either get off Facebook and interact with your friends in real life, or block everyone. People have always been political, and America has always been divided over issues, and Facebook exacerbates that.

So I am going to blog more and Facebook less. My life feels less exciting than when I was living in New York or going through grad school. I will try to keep this interesting and not entirely political. Stick it out with me.

God is Not Petty

I grew up in Pocatello. It's a small-ish city that is predominantly Mormon (perhaps not actually, but when you're a kid and most of your socializing is with people you go to church with, your social circle is small and yet feels like your whole world). The culture of being a Mormon was very prevalent.

When I was twelve or so, I remember a girl from one of the wards in our stake being pregnant and unmarried. This was kind of a big deal. People talked about it in hushed tones, perhaps fearful if they talked about it out loud it might happen to their daughters, too. As if it could be the worst possible thing in the world. This girl wasn't a girl at all, as she wasn't in junior high or high school. And yet it was still so tragic to everyone around me. And I, being young and not knowing anything except what I had been taught my whole life, also thought it was tragic.

Then this girl, who married the boy, ended up having a miscarriage.

I remember asking my mom, "Did God punish her?" That was the connection I made based on everything I knew and had learned as a twelve year old - sexual sin is the worst, being pregnant and unmarried makes you a pariah, and naturally God would want to punish you.

My mom looked at me and explained that God is not punishing her, He does not work like that. I remember her being slightly off put by my question, and she answered it emphatically.

And she's right. God isn't petty or spiteful or mad at us for making bad choices. God is loving and unconditional.

So when we have tragedies, real tragedies where innocent lives are taken in a public place, be it a school or a movie theater or the place you work, it's not because "society" has removed God from those places  and God is being spiteful. It's true, we don't have a national religion, we don't make everyone pray at school, we don't build publicly-funded monuments to religious leaders or organizations. But that doesn't mean God isn't allowed in those places.

God is everywhere, and anyone can pray to him at anytime they want. I can sit in my office and say prayers all day long. A student at school can say a prayer before a test. A family can say a prayer at a restaurant before eating their food. A person can wear a t-shirt that states, "I Love Jesus" and wear it wherever they please.

Bad things don't happen because we no longer have state-endorsed prayers in school, or because we removed a Ten Commandments replica at the courthouse. Bad things happen because bad things happen. Bad things always happen. People get cancer. Marriages fall apart. Finances are mismanaged. Wars happen. If we expect God to stop every large-scale tragedy because we are saying endorsed prayers at school, then shouldn't we also expect Him to stop every other personal tragedy just because I pray and have faith?

That's not how it works. Many times we have to do things, take action, start the ball rolling, because God expects us to do our part.

Choose One Thing

Last night, at the insistent urging of my sister, I went to the movie theater and bought a ticket for Divergent. I have not read the book and knew next to nothing about the story and characters. Which, if you know me at all, it kind of a good thing because then I don't have any expectations. When you have no expectations, then you're very rarely disappointed.

Anyway, the story takes place sometime in the future in a rundown Chicago. Everyone is separated out into one of five factions. When you are 16 (or so, as the main character and her brother do this at the same time and it's not mentioned that they're twins; maybe the book explains this) you take a test that tells you what faction you belong in, however you don't have to pick that one. But once you choose, you have chosen for life. Many end up in the faction they grew up with, but some don't. Our main character, Beatrice (later known as just Tris), was raised as Abnegation (selflessness), her test shows she's Divergent (meaning she excels at three of the factions) and ends up choosing to join Dauntless (bravery) because she feels like that is the right choice for her. She leaves her family and will never see them again.

(Side note here: Remember how everyone and their grandma was reading into Frozen and it's deeper meanings? Do you want me to do it too, but with Divergent? I could say that the movie is just one long advertisement for going against your parents and hanging out with the "cool" kids because they're more fun. They get to jump out of trains and wear black and get tattoos and police the city and be all around reckless and fun-loving, while the other faction lives in box-like homes and have to wear brown frocks and not look in the mirror and have to help people. Man, how boring is that?! Of course this is a little bit ridiculous. We can get messages out of any movie if we try hard enough, and it's usually personal to just us.)

At the Choosing Ceremony everyone recites the mantra "Faction over blood." This just seemed really sad to me. The whole concept of having to choose one way of life to be stuck with forever, and not get to be with your actual family, was really depressing. What I love about my life is the opportunity to be eclectic and like lots of things and do lots of things. I can help people, or I can be smart and go to school, I can showcase bravery or honesty whenever. I like knowing that I can love transit and bikes and watching sports and eating ice cream and traveling and reading and going to church and not having to fit into one description until I die.

In the movie, the faction system supposedly makes things easier to run because people know their roles and don't stray. But if we don't interact with other people with different views and ways of thinking then we'll never have new ideas. It would be a very sad to world live in.

And now I've read too much into the movie. Suffice it to say that I enjoyed it enough. 

Where You Want Me

For the closing hymn in church on Sunday we sang I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go. I was feeling rather emotional all during the meeting, and when it came time to sing this song I could barely get through without tears welling up. I've always found a lot of power in hymns and music and this moment was really strong. I wish I could explain what I was feeling and why the song touched a nerve. I'm still working that out myself.

Many times we don't "end up" where we think we will. Did I think I'd be in Kansas? Not ever. But oftentimes it's the expectations we've created that make us unhappy or unfulfilled, when really things are actually quite great. Sometimes we need to go where we're told to go and realize that we can be happy and useful in many different ways.

Modesty

There has been a video on YouTube making the rounds on Facebook about the evolution of the swimsuit and modesty. I have watched the video, and have many thoughts on the subject of modesty. Since this is my blog, I thought I'd get those thoughts out there.

First of all, I'm all for modesty. I'm actually for dressing however you choose to feel comfortable. I choose to dress modestly for a variety of reasons. However, I do not dress modestly to control how men think about me. I fear that many times modesty is taught as a way to not have men objectify you and think impure thoughts. It is not my job to control how men think, and if they are thinking impure thoughts based on what I'm wearing then that is something they need to work on, not me.

In the video, the speaker states that men who see a girl in a bikini are more likely to think of her as an object and this is not empowering. First of all, there is a difference in wearing a bikini to the beach and wearing one to, say, the office. If I wore a bikini to the office, I think it'd mostly be perceived as very unprofessional, regardless of being objectified. At the beach, I think wearing a bikini is totally fine. If you feel comfortable wearing it then wear it; it is not up to a girl to have to always think about what her clothing is doing to boys. And a girl shouldn't be judged because she is wearing a bikini.

I get very easily distracted by a man with a beard. Or who's wearing a suit and tie. Or who's wearing a t-shirt. Or who's wearing shorts. Or who's wearing a sweater. Or who's wearing shoes. My point is that we naturally find the opposite sex attractive, but we can control how we react to them and either treat them like persons or objects.  This should be expected of men who see women dressed "immodestly" and women, too. Modesty should be a personal choice based on what you want to wear and what you feel comfortable in.

Be Celebrated

I came across this beautiful image and saying on Pinterest last week. It really hit me. For a long time I've let myself get caught up in why certain people didn't like me. I would let it bother me until I would feel depressed about it. Which was silly, because I have plenty of people who do love me and celebrate me, so why should care about those who don't?!

I have friends and family who love me and care for me and want to see the best for me. And I feel exactly the same for them. I want to celebrate them and they want to celebrate me. These are the people I should be focusing on, not those who merely tolerate me. Go where you are celebrated!

Bad Luck

Yesterday I broke a mirror that I've had for quite some time. I'm not particularly superstitious, but I really can't afford 7 years of bad luck right now. I'm graduating in a month and need all the help and luck I can get to get hired. I also need some help with the motivation to finish all my assignments. Also, I'm nearly thirty and still single, so seven more years of bad luck with dating would be nearly unbearable.

So if everyone could keep their fingers crossed for me, just a little superstitiously, maybe I can avoid the seven years of bad luck. :)

A Review of Batman

After seeing The Dark Knight a few summers ago, and being much less in love with it than everyone else, I knew I wouldn't be that into its eventual sequel. The previews did nothing to excite me to see it on opening weekend. Of course I would see it eventually....when it came to the dollar theater. Which it finally did. I went in with pretty low expectations and still came out of it disappointed. It turned out it was worse than I had imagined it could be.

Don't get me wrong, it's not bad like Batman and Robin was bad, or bad like Spiderman 3. This was bad in that so many talented people got together, under the direction of Christopher Nolan, and made something that was weak. Worse than that, it wasn't fun or interesting at all.

The movie is long. Really long. Nearly three hours. It's probably a half hour longer than it should be. For a very large chunk of the movie Batman is gone. Completely gone and the film is given over to Bain and the cops trying to fight against him. One could argue that his absence was because Bain was in control of the city and the audience needed to feel, just like the residents of Gotham, that all hope was lost. I do not buy this argument.

Which leads me to my next issue with the film: the villain. The Joker, understandably, is a hard act to follow. But it was not an insurmountable task, especially with a director like Christopher Nolan. In my opinion, Bain was not charismatic or even interesting. He was just brute force. Then the switcheroo to Tate being the real villain felt a lot like lazy writing.

I also took issue with the film trying way too hard to be a relevant movie, with the "rich vs. poor" mentality espoused by Bain. I believe that the actual Occupy Wall Street movement had issues that were important to discuss. I do not think anyone believes we should pillage and demean the rich when the poor have taken over. Not at all. And I found it hard to watch it.

From a filmmaking standpoint, the movie was nothing spectacular. The cinematography was flat as was the direction. The music was loud and distracting. Again, I expect more from a director like Christopher Nolan; he's not Joel Schumacher or Michael Bay. All the actors seemed to be tired and just saying their lines. Batman exists in his own world, but this movie brought us a bomb, nuclear fusion, and the President of the United States. It was all so incongruous that it felt like a bizarre alternate universe where Batman and his cohorts were dropped in on.

This quibble is a small one, but I just couldn't get past it: the football stadium scene. First of all, why wasn't the stadium completely full? It looked like whoever had that task in the CGI department forgot to finish it. The previous films, although filming in either New York or Chicago, always made Gotham its own city. This movie was so obviously shot in New York and wasn't even attempted to make it look different. It bothered me.

And finally, Bruce Wayne/Batman was whiny and just too sad. I get that he loved Rachel, and the films took a chance on giving Batman one real, constant love throughout them. However it was bungled in this third one. As my friend said, it needed some rewrites so it wasn't stumbling across the finish line.

There you go. A very long dis on The Dark Knight Rises. It's much more fun to dissect what you think is bad about a movie than what was good. If you liked it, feel free to let me know!

Selling to Me

Trying to sell something to someone can be a difficult task. I know that I'm awful at it. But there's one thing that I do know: I will never be convinced to buy your product or vote for you or change my ways if your selling point is ragging on your competitor. Tell me what your product can do that's amazing, tell me what you can do that's amazing, tell me why your way is awesome. Tell me what you can do, not what is so awful about your competitor.

(Disclaimer: I know this comes off as a political rant, but I've had this thought in my head for awhile, and it stems from a lot of things, like my best friend buying a Kindle because the salesperson's pitch for the Nook was basically bashing the Kindle. Obviously, though, it can be applied to politics, religion, what school to attend, what job to take, who to marry,.....)

Dads Are Important, Too

Dads get the shaft. Especially in the media. Remember all those P&G commercials during the Olympics that said, "Thanks Mom." Ann Romney spent a good portion of her speech talking about how women and moms and daughters have made this country what it is, that moms work hard. I'm not saying they don't. But where's the love for dads?

I have a very strong belief that dads are just as important to their kids as moms are. Dads love, too. Being a mom is hard, but that also means being a dad is hard. But the rewards are the same for both. If we keep treating moms like they're these mythical creatures that nearly every mom feels like they can't live up to, and keep giving dads the shaft, we'll only continue to feed into the disparity.

Moms AND dads are important.

After Work

When I get home from work I am tired. Sometimes I take a nap. Sometimes I'm so tired and lazy that I have popcorn for dinner. It's even worse when I'm taking a full load of classes. I can't imagine what I would do if I had a spouse and/or kids to have to think about. Obviously I wouldn't let them eat popcorn for dinner! But how would I find the energy to make them dinner every night?! My mom must've been so tired, as she worked and sometimes commuted, then had to come home to three kids claiming to be starving. I'm sure she wanted to just lie on the bed and take a nap. And it's probably just as hard for moms who stay home, as they've been dealing with the kids all day and probably want a break and/or nap, too.

I find single being tough. Being a mom must be whole lot tougher.

In Defense of Nicholas Sparks

Chick flicks in general get a lot of flack. Nicholas Sparks movies in particular get crapped on. The thing with a Nicholas Sparks movie is that you know what you're getting into when you buy the ticket. You know that there will be two people who eventually fall in love, their love will be tested, and along the way you'll probably cry. I know there's not going to be a chase scene, or something blown up, or objectifying of women (anyone who wants to see that can watch a Michael Bay flick).

I find this comforting. I like knowing what I'm going to get. I know it's not going to be massively epic, or on par with Spielberg (and even Spielberg makes movies that aren't so good), but I'll be entertained for two hours. And I'll get to see some eye candy.

Not everything can be the next classic, book or movie. Sometimes we just need entertainment. So I defend Nicholas Sparks (except for the film version of Nights in Rodanthe).

Disclaimer: I've only read one Nicholas Sparks book and am currently reading another.

Opinions

Guess what? We all have opinions. Guess what else? We live in a world where free speech is allowed. I may not agree with your opinions, but that doesn't make yours wrong or mine right. They are mine and yours. Maybe instead of attacking people for their opinions, we should either learn to accept them, have an adult discussion about them, or just ignore them. This age of constant social media, twitter, and all that makes a lot of non-issues issues. It's tiring.

Good thing I'm taking a Facebook break this week.

My Thoughts

I don't really follow politics a lot. I vote because I think it is an important right. If who I voted for didn't win, I'm not sent into a tailspin or spend the next two/four years plotting how to get them out and complaining about every move they make. I made my vote, and if I'm not actively finding a better solution to what I think they've done terribly wrong, then I should just stop my complaining.

I think that all politicians, whether Democrat, Republican or Libertarian, make good and bad decisions in their term. I think that Democrats complain about Republicans no matter what. I think Republicans complain about Democrats no matter what. I think many are worried about getting re-elected. I think blacks voted for Barack Obama and Mormons will vote for Mitt Romney.

I don't like this, but I know it's true. I know we don't live in a world full of peace and rainbows and rose-colored glasses. But I do think we could find ways to work around it. I mean, we are all adults, aren't we? I have a Politics in Planning class Monday nights. Our textbook is a case study of the landmark statewide zoning plan adopted in Oregon in the 1970s. It was a perfect storm of political players who focused on solving the problem rather than worrying about party lines. People sat down and worked out the issues based on the issues and not who belonged to what party. And because of this they were able to pass a statewide measure that was accepted by nearly all.

In my 9th grade History class we studied Washington's Farewell Address. I remember very clearly reading this in our textbook, talking about it in class, and having it as a question on an exam. Washington speaks of the pitfalls of political parties and how they can undermine true works of the government.

That's how I wish things operated now. Maybe that's silly. But I know that I can at least work on me and how I act and respond. Aristotle said, 'It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." We could probably all work on being a little more educated when it comes to politics.

The School Debate

When I entered grad school last year my brother told me that guys were not interested in girls with Masters. Since then we've had many discussions about this topic. He claims that guys, especially guys in Utah, are intimidated by a girl with too much education, and that said girls will languish in single-dom. I steadfastly refused to believe this, claiming that I wouldn't want a guy who was intimidated by my education anyway. And he'd counter saying that I wouldn't find it in Utah.

My friend Summer and I discussed this same topic the other day. She concurred with my brother, saying that level of education is way more important to girls than it is to guys. She argued that it interfered with their natural desire/need to be the provider, and having a girl that could possibly make more than them was emasculating. Once again I tried to object, stating that plenty of guys want girls who are educated and that a Masters degree shouldn't dissuade them from asking me out.

There's a guy I know that has never asked about my school or what I'm doing. He asks about everything else, and when I mention that I'm busy with classes or doing homework, there are never any follow up questions. Yesterday this started to bother me, mainly because I did not want to be proven wrong, especially by my brother.

So I opened up a discussion on Facebook, and there were some great points made, many of them coming from dudes themselves! A lot of them said it depended on the guy, and that a guy would be insecure in himself to not appreciate a girl's educational achievements. One very interesting point made by my friend Jodee (a dude)made this great statement: Intelligence matters, not just the level of education completed. There are more than a few very dull minded people in the world with high level degrees. And my friend Greg made a good point that he doesn't care about a girl's education, but how she treats people, what she knows about events in the world, does she respect Veterans and others who risk their lives. Ya know, her character.

In no way do I think that getting a Masters degree means I am more intelligent than people around me who haven't. I may be more knowledgeable on the subject of planning, but certainly not in other areas. I struggle putting together coherent thoughts and sentences, and I have a hard time synthesizing large amounts of information. For me, getting a Masters degree was more a necessity; I was changing career paths and my Bachelors wouldn't get me anywhere. I could, on the slimmest of chances, get a job in a planning related field, but to move up at all and be considered a real planner I would need a Masters anyway. At that time (and still now) I had no prospect of getting married and knew I would need to support myself.

I currently do not have the option to have kids and be a stay-at-home mom. Even if I were married, I might still not have the option. Because other girls aren't getting their Masters (or already have them) does not mean they are not intelligent. Education and learning is life-long, and does not need to be in a classroom. It comes from reading and discussing, living and discovering, trying and overcoming. I think guys in general are attracted to that.

But on the point of guys being "intimidated" by a girl with a Masters degree, I still believe that any guy I would want to even consider marrying would have to think it was pretty cool. Are some guys intimidated by it, most definitely. Do I think the reason I am not married is because I'm pursuing a Masters, most definitely not. We just haven't found each other yet.

Pros and Cons

There are some things I love about Facebook. I like connecting with my family--aunts, uncles, cousins, sister, brother, mom and dad; it's like an online reunion sometimes. And since I have a pretty large extended family, and we live all over, it's nice to be able to know what's going on with them, seeing their kids grow, where their careers take them, and the general goings on in their lives.

And obviously, we all know Facebook is pretty handy when stalking that person you like. Is there a person of the opposite sex in their profile pic, are they listed as "Single" or "In a Relationship"? Do you both love Parks and Rec and The Shawshank Redemption? Handy....and also less handy when you learn a whole lot about them without ever having a real conversation with them. It makes the whole getting-to-know-you-phase sort of moot.

I also hate how it allows me to compare myself with tons of people that I would generally know very little about. They've traveled more than me. They have a better job than me. They have 3 kids and I'm still single. They went to that concert I wanted to go to. But the thing is, that's just their "online" life; real life is much more fun.

And comparing never got anyone anywhere.

A Change of Focus

As I sat in sacrament meeting today, I kept having the thought that I very often focus on the things I don't currently (or will never) have. Of course it's natural to think and plan for the future, and to make goals and map out how you will achieve them and all that. Yes, that is fine. But I tend to obsess and worry over what I don't have, to the point that I think it makes me depressed. My hair always seems to be something I hate. My clothes don't fit the way I want them to. I can't sing. I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not funny or clever or witty. I'm not as good a writer as those around me. I'm not always kind or considerate. I'm in my late twenties and just starting grad school, when I should already have a career.

My point is that it does no good to think about the things we don't have. And it's especially not good to compare ourselves to others. I also do this obsessively. And it gets me nowhere.

So I'd like to start focusing on the things that I do have. I'd like to start realizing that we never know what other people are going through and what their insecurities are and what their trials in life are, so it makes no sense to compare ourselves to them. In the end I will be judged on what I do with what I have been given.

Return of the Bachelor (A Rant)

The Bachelor returns tonight. This isn't just any Bachelor, but Bachelor Brad Womack. He's already been the bachelor once before, and when he didn't pick either girl at the end of his "journey of love," he was vilified publicly from everyone from Oprah to Ellen to random housewives and college girls. Apparently, it would have been better for him to lie to one of the girls, say he loved them, propose marriage, and then have it end a few months later. I think that would've been A LOT worse. We claim to want honesty out of guys, but when we actually get it we are angry that they don't feel the same way. Yes, it hurts when someone doesn't return your feelings (and I strongly question those feelings felt on a dating show where you are competing with 20 other girls and only see the guy minimally) but it sure is better than having them lie to you and then hurt you even more later when they break your phony engagement.

I actually commend him for recognizing that he wasn't feeling it with either of the girls, and instead of cheapening the engagement going for honesty instead. I think both girls, Deanna and Jenni, would actually feel relieved and thankful that he didn't lie to them. We all get hurt and hurt others in relationships, and what matters is when you find the one who IS right you are different. He clearly didn't pick either girl because neither was right, and both of them are engaged now so he clearly wasn't their right one, either.

And while I'm on it, the girls on this show are Crazy with a capital C! They already think the Bachelor is their husband, that he's their soulmate. They haven't even met him!! My friends and I enjoy watching it together and commenting on the crazies and the meanies, the strange ones and the seemingly normal ones. If nothing else, it's a good conversation starter on dating and gender roles. And usually, it's good for a for laughs.

Tangled Thoughts

Today I saw Tangled again. Yes, I had already seen it on Thanksgiving. But my mom's work hosts a movie every year for their employees and their families, and since the grandkids are currently partyin' it up in Disneyland, and because honestly I really wanted to see it again, I got to go. I went even though my mom was sick and didn't make it.

It's hard for me to explain why exactly I love this movie so much (my only complaint is that I wish they had kept the title Rapunzel). For one, it brings back that Disney nostalgia from my childhood, when my sister and I would watch The Little Mermaid over and over. I really feel like a kid when I watch it. As I've gotten older, and more cynical, I've had a tendency to deride a lot of the Disney movies and their princesses, who seemed to only want to find their prince. To me, life should be more about discovering yourself and traveling and learning than finding your prince. The Disney Princesses seemed to be the antithesis of feminism.

What I've slowly come to understand, though, is that feminism doesn't mean the opposite of being that girl who only looks for their prince, the girl who wants to be a wife and mother. It's about having the choice to do whatever you want as a female, and to not be judged by other women for your choices. Being a wife, a mother, a working girl, a singleton are all roles we can choose to have, and all are important.

Rapunzel goes on this great journey (albeit in two days) where she fulfills her dream, saves the guy, and handles herself quite well. Does she get the guy in the end? Yes. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to find your prince. I'm 27 and I'm looking for mine and my happily-ever-after. But I'm also traveling, learning, finding myself. These are the things I'm supposed to be doing. I think most people want to find their prince/princess, and we shouldn't have to feel sheepish about it. I love that Rapunzel is daring and optimistic, driven and kind, loving and fearless. She's entirely her own person with dreams and goals, and it's just a bonus that along the way she also met her prince.

In case my words aren't making sense (it's sorta late and I'm possibly tired) here's some dude's thoughts on it that I agree with:

I see what you’re saying about wanting to have the whole idea of Rapunzel finding herself and being a self-sufficient woman. However, her having the happy ending of being with the prince does not negate her realization of her making her own destiny, i.e. upholding the ideology of feminism. I think people get confused in thinking that the girl finding the right guy and getting married = the girl sacrificing her independence and being dominated by patriarchal societal norms. But that is not the case. Feminism isn’t about women dominating men; it’s about women having choices, and if a woman chooses to be with a man, the way Rapunzel chooses to be with Flynn/Eugene, then she is being true to herself and her desire. And her having that happy ending is not an anti-modern notion, the way people seem to see it today.

It's also nice that her prince is funny, and has the voice of Zachary Levi, who totally rocks the beard.